Write Amber, write!

The book buying public’s wait is over with today’s release of Amber Frey’s new book, Witness for the Prosecution. Regan Books, that bastion of literary integrity is set to cash in on America’s addiction to salaciousness and titillation. Frey is set to join J.K. Rowling in the book reading preservation society.

I’m going to step way out on a limb here and predict that Frey’s book is sure to spend time on the bestsellers list. With titles like, “Oh My God! Lacy’s baby is due on my birthday!” and “Isn’t that a little twisted, Scott”, this work is just begging to find its place on my 2005 list of books to read.

I’m amazed by Frey. She’s obviously brighter and more talented than her stereotypical profile and persona would lead one to believe. Stupid me!! I’ve been researching, interviewing and losing sleep working a seasonal job trying to keep my project moving forward and I’m still a good week away from having my proposal remotely ready for a publisher. Frey on the other hand has talent to burn, juggling supporting herself as a massage therapist, being a mother, while sexually satisfying her sociopath boyfriend and still finding the time to crank out a book! I’m doing it all wrong, I guess.

Just today, I spent 10 hours today holed up doing some hard editing and rewriting on my own book that seems caught in some kind of purgatory of delays, self-critical procrastination and general blood and guts toil that comes with writing a book of any merit.

Please forgive me for sounding a little bitter about another hack that probably hasn’t written anything longer than 100 words since high school, yet lands a lucrative book deal and large advance. Can anyone say ghostwriter? Frey joins another princess of popular culture, porn star Jenna Jameson, bookending Regan's rush to embrace sex and murder as they ride to the top of America's cultural trash heap. Now that would be a book signing worth attending! Maybe the two could collaborate on a new book, How To Use Sex and Violence to Win Friends and Eliminate Enemies.

I’m curious to hear what her advance was. I’m sure it’s six figures and some change. Regan might not be held in high esteem by many in the writing community due to its pantheon of pseudographers (Gen. Tommy Franks, Sean Hannity, Jack Canfield, Jameson and now Frey), but it uses Barnum’s famous adage to its advantage.