Wednesday, December 22, 2004

The toughest of competition

Since we are on the topic of Time’s choice for person of the year, here were some of Herr Bush’s competitors:

Nancy and Ron Reagan: Oh, how precious—Nancy and Ronnie—together again; In all seriousness, I do respect Mrs. Reagan for her outspoken support for stem-cell research, it’s just hard for me to overlook the fact that she was married to our worst President prior to our current one.

Martha Stewart: Now here’s a person that’s hard to overlook when one is nominationg movers and shakers who changed their world. I mean, where would we be without her award-winning tips on “How to Spruce up That Ugly Jail Cell”, “Ways to Add Pep and Zing to That Bland Prison Diet”, as well as the essential “Warding Off Your Cellmate’s Amorous Advances Without Hurting Her Feelings”?

Rick Warren: Since 2004 seems to be “The Year of Jesus”, what list of influential people would be complete without a preacher man? Warren brings new meaning to the term, “religious hucksterism” with his shallow, but bestselling “The Profit-Driven Life”. Like most modern day religious leaders, Warren manages to take the teachings of Jesus concerning self-sacrifice, concern for the poor, and humility, and turn them into a screed for free-market capitalism.

Desperate Housewives: All I have to say about this entry is, WTF!! These bimbos make my argument against television so much more striking.


ChefDunn said...

While I'm not sure why Desperate Housewives are among the "People Who Mattered", it is a really good program. I've seen every episode. The draw to the show is the story line. The many twists and turns in the plot make it impossible to predict what is going to happen next.

Aaron the Atheist said...

I hear Martha is writing a book on her experiences in Club Fed. A sure bet to make her a contender next year. LOL.

Jim said...


I'm sure she is! The sad part is that for her readers/fans, they'll never know what most people go through in prison, because most inmates don't have the cushy digs enjoyed by Ms. Stewart.

I worked in a prison during the early-mid 1980's in Indiana; it was a violent and depressing place and not the stuff of best-selling books by celebrity criminals.

Rather than writing a "kiss 'n tell" book about poor Martha, holed up in a country-club for wealthy criminals, it would be more fitting for Stewart to use her celebrity status to bring some light to the issue of U.S. incarceration rates.

Something along these lines:

Won't happen, however.